The Secret Sauce of Teaching (and Parenting)

I originally wrote this during the early days of COVID, when so many parents unexpectedly found themselves in the role of teacher at home. But the truth behind it still holds today. Whether you're helping with homework, homeschooling, or just navigating life's daily lessons, the principles of great teaching—and great parenting—are timeless.

Melanie Zwyghuizen | Gen 1 Parenting

On those first days of pandemic homeschooling, I saw a flood of posts on social media—many from parents newly realizing how much teachers juggle every day. I appreciated all the “Thank you, teachers, I had no idea!” sentiments. But I also wanted to share a few deeper thoughts on what the best teachers actually focus on in their classrooms. These are the same principles I taught every student teacher who ever trained under me—and the same ones my colleagues and I tried to live by every day.

And they apply just as much to parenting.

Here’s what matters most:

1) Relationships Are Everything.

Yes, content matters—math, science, Spanish—all of it. But kids won’t care about what you’re teaching until they know you care about them.

Now stay with me here.

You might be thinking, "Of course I love my kids!" And you do—deeply. But love isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action, especially now when life has slowed down. No carpools, no sports practices, no packed schedules. Instead, we're left with something rare: time. Time together, at home.

Many kids aren’t used to this much time with their families. Some have rarely eaten meals around a table with their family. Some have shared more through text messages than face-to-face conversations. Parents, this strange season is also a strange gift. A chance to reconnect or perhaps connect deeper than ever with our kids. A chance to really listen—not just to the words your kids say, but to the needs and hopes their hearts are trying to express.

Professional educators remind each other often:When it gets hard, go back to relationships. When everything feels messy, listen harder. Meet students where they are—not where you wish they were.

And right now, as parents, we have that same calling.

2) When in Doubt, See #1.

When you look back on your school years, you likely don’t remember the specifics of the math lessons or history lectures. (I don’t!) But you likely remember how certain teachers made you feel. (Yes! That I do remember!)

You remember whether you felt safe. Whether you felt loved for who you were, not just for what you achieved. Whether someone noticed you, respected your ideas, made you feel like you mattered. Whether you felt like you were part of a team—or whether you felt alone.

That’s the real heart of teaching—and parenting.

Long after the worksheets are recycled and the tests are forgotten, kids will remember one thing: how it felt to be taught — and loved — by you. In classrooms or around kitchen tables, real teaching AND parenting isn’t just about what we know. It’s about how we show up.

Hey Parents, if you are wanting to build stronger, more connected relationships with your kids, I will gladly walk alongside you. You don't have to figure it out on your own. [Book your free 15-minute consulation today!] And for even more encouragement, check out The Perfectly Imperfect Family—a #1 international bestselling anthology filled with honest stories from real parents and professionals. In Chapter 34, I share how shifting my mindset helped me develop a deeper relationship with my kids.

-Melanie